Post by AutumnGrace on Sept 9, 2017 1:47:20 GMT -5
SMOKING
I watched a documentary on a woman who had lung cancer, showing how she and her family were dealing with this horrible disease. It moved me. I was one who enjoyed smoking, but did I really want to put my family through the helpless feelings this family endured?
I decided to try to quit smoking. There was a season I attempted every idea I could think of to help accomplish my goal. For a while I started smoking half cigarettes, which only let me under stress to smoke whole ones. My next attempt was to only smoke 3 a day. That worked for a while, but again under stress I added a few more until I was up to a pack again. It was plain to me this was not working either. I realized I returned to smoking like an alcoholic returns to the bottle.
The next time I felt I wanted to quit, I noticed that it was the cigarettes controlling me not the other way around. I remember I would say to myself, “I do not want a cigarette.” All the while my hand would be going through the motions of getting one and lighting up. It bothered me that I was not in control anymore. I did not know why God would not help me put this behind me. For some reason I had to apply some inner strength to accomplish this.
Knowing I was weak and my past attempts were useless. I decided I would only smoke socially. I simply quit buying them for myself. When I was with a smoking friend I would buy them a pack to smoke while we were together. During this time I smoke as much as I wanted while we were together. My poor friends put up with this for a long time, I believe it was for two years. I must say I stuck to this plan and was determined not to smoke alone or around anyone who did not smoke. Never, never buy myself a pack no matter what crisis come in my life. This plan seemed to work better because my husband was a nonsmoker and I never smoked around him anyways. I did not smoke around my children either. At the same time I had not quit and I still smoked. Better than all the time right?
Then out of the blue, one day I was showering when I heard plainly,” YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SMOKE ANYMORE… HAND ME THE KEYS!" I had no idea what the keys were so I asked the Lord what keys? Faithfully He brought revelation. I began to think of a series of things that hindered me personally. Things like rejection, fear of failures etc. I cannot remember now how many there were but there was over a handful of things that came to me which hindered my walk and my life in general. I started visually handing these keys one by one naming them over to the Lord. After I was finished I felt the Lord took the keys and He personally locked the doors to these hindrances in my life.
When I got out of the shower that morning I no longer had the desire to smoke. This proved out over the next few months. My Father arrived unexpectedly the next day from SC and stayed with us for several weeks. During his stay he kept trying to get me to smoke. He even put a cigarette in my mouth, which I took out & gave back to him. He simply did not believe I actually quit because I wanted to. He knew I did not smoke in front of the kids or my husband. He would play the devils advocate and tell me he would not squeal on me. I endured these two weeks and by God’s grace I was not even tempted.
After my dad left, two weeks later our good friend came to town and stayed at our home for a month. He was a 3 pack a day smoker. All during his stay, I still did not have any desire to participate.
A month after he left, my older son and his girlfriend were out in the streets, homeless. With our Christianity we could not leave them in this situation. So we brought them into our home and gave separate sleeping quarters. They both smoked nonstop. They were with us 3 months getting established in a new town. They did marry at our home a few months after they moved out. Still during this time with them I was given the grace to not desire to smoke.
It has been almost thirty years and I have never returned to smoking. Jesus delivered me purely by grace when I could not do it on my own strength.
OUR FATHER GOD LOVES HIS CHILREN SO MUCH HE WILL GO TO GREAT LENGTHS TO WEED OUT THINGS FROM OUR LIVES THAT CAN HURT US.
I watched a documentary on a woman who had lung cancer, showing how she and her family were dealing with this horrible disease. It moved me. I was one who enjoyed smoking, but did I really want to put my family through the helpless feelings this family endured?
I decided to try to quit smoking. There was a season I attempted every idea I could think of to help accomplish my goal. For a while I started smoking half cigarettes, which only let me under stress to smoke whole ones. My next attempt was to only smoke 3 a day. That worked for a while, but again under stress I added a few more until I was up to a pack again. It was plain to me this was not working either. I realized I returned to smoking like an alcoholic returns to the bottle.
The next time I felt I wanted to quit, I noticed that it was the cigarettes controlling me not the other way around. I remember I would say to myself, “I do not want a cigarette.” All the while my hand would be going through the motions of getting one and lighting up. It bothered me that I was not in control anymore. I did not know why God would not help me put this behind me. For some reason I had to apply some inner strength to accomplish this.
Knowing I was weak and my past attempts were useless. I decided I would only smoke socially. I simply quit buying them for myself. When I was with a smoking friend I would buy them a pack to smoke while we were together. During this time I smoke as much as I wanted while we were together. My poor friends put up with this for a long time, I believe it was for two years. I must say I stuck to this plan and was determined not to smoke alone or around anyone who did not smoke. Never, never buy myself a pack no matter what crisis come in my life. This plan seemed to work better because my husband was a nonsmoker and I never smoked around him anyways. I did not smoke around my children either. At the same time I had not quit and I still smoked. Better than all the time right?
Then out of the blue, one day I was showering when I heard plainly,” YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SMOKE ANYMORE… HAND ME THE KEYS!" I had no idea what the keys were so I asked the Lord what keys? Faithfully He brought revelation. I began to think of a series of things that hindered me personally. Things like rejection, fear of failures etc. I cannot remember now how many there were but there was over a handful of things that came to me which hindered my walk and my life in general. I started visually handing these keys one by one naming them over to the Lord. After I was finished I felt the Lord took the keys and He personally locked the doors to these hindrances in my life.
When I got out of the shower that morning I no longer had the desire to smoke. This proved out over the next few months. My Father arrived unexpectedly the next day from SC and stayed with us for several weeks. During his stay he kept trying to get me to smoke. He even put a cigarette in my mouth, which I took out & gave back to him. He simply did not believe I actually quit because I wanted to. He knew I did not smoke in front of the kids or my husband. He would play the devils advocate and tell me he would not squeal on me. I endured these two weeks and by God’s grace I was not even tempted.
After my dad left, two weeks later our good friend came to town and stayed at our home for a month. He was a 3 pack a day smoker. All during his stay, I still did not have any desire to participate.
A month after he left, my older son and his girlfriend were out in the streets, homeless. With our Christianity we could not leave them in this situation. So we brought them into our home and gave separate sleeping quarters. They both smoked nonstop. They were with us 3 months getting established in a new town. They did marry at our home a few months after they moved out. Still during this time with them I was given the grace to not desire to smoke.
It has been almost thirty years and I have never returned to smoking. Jesus delivered me purely by grace when I could not do it on my own strength.
OUR FATHER GOD LOVES HIS CHILREN SO MUCH HE WILL GO TO GREAT LENGTHS TO WEED OUT THINGS FROM OUR LIVES THAT CAN HURT US.
